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The Habit Of Self Reflection
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The Habit Of Self Reflection

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The Habit Of Self-Reflection

 

How Looking For Who To Blame Isn’t The Best Option

The new American way in this recent political condition is to point fingers to someone else as the cause of your woes. This goes beyond the political landscape. You can also consider the legal system. See the way businesses operate, the number of divorces, and dysfunctional relationships that exist. You consider the world and begin to see other individuals who are hindering and preventing you from being happy, prompting bad decisions, and generally affecting your life. If someone asks you to create a list of these individuals, there is every chance that you have a few of them in no time.

Playing the blame game is very common. “You always make me mad”, “You don’t think about my desires”, “We don’t care about similar things”, and the likes. People usually depend on other people to provide a solution to their problem., make them feel complete, and get a definition out of life.

However, in a situation where the problem is not even out there. What if the area of the challenge you are facing is within you? Performing healthy self-reflection is very uncommon today or looking at it from another perspective. What part have I played in the current problem I’m facing and what way could I have evaluated things to derive another outcome? It is usually very easy to look outside. It is easy to point fingers at others, indicate their shortcomings, and feel at ease since the culprit has been recognized. This might be true. Your employer, kid, mother-in-law, or best friend might be your problem. Your challenge could be the maltreatment and neglect of others. It could be that you didn’t possess a break or had bad luck. However, could performing of some self-exploration open your eyes to some challenges you could have controlled? It might be difficult to control the attitude of your mother-in-law but the fire could have been fueled by your attitude. You might be at the mercy of other people as a child, but once you clock 18 and become an adult, you should take up responsibility and recognize that your actions would trigger the change you require.

This is what self-reflection is not. Feeling bad about yourself like resorting to “Woe unto yourself” or using every avenue to concentrate on the undesirable things that have occurred to you and how they could have been prevented. However, it is the ability to understand what prompts negative or undesirable conditions for you and making a move towards recognizing your involvement in the process.

Apologize for your attitude once you realize that what you did has offended someone else, recognizing that the way you evolved may be both beneficial and detrimental to you. These activities will enable you to become more self-reflective. An issue with blaming someone is that what you don’t like cannot be controlled. You only have control over yourself, your behavior, reaction, and actions. You need to look at employing self-reflection if you no longer want to play the blame game.

Working to achieve a set goal or target is exciting, but expecting that thing to transport us from unhappy to happy is not certain. For most, happiness is drawn from comparison:

Happiness is not really looking at your life through some beautifully painted glasses and taking no account of what happens around us; still, there are ways to stay positive and happy even through the toughest of times. Here are a few tips you can apply to stay happy in any situation:

  • 1. Recognize those things (or individuals) that make you upset. Recognize the reason they are upsetting you. What actions do they perform that bothers you? Probably you love advocating for little kids or you have been taken advantage of as a kid, which makes those who prey on kids very upsetting to you. You pass the blame on to them, concentrate on them, and reminisce on how hurtful they are. Perhaps it is something very simple like asking your partner to clean the coffeemaker every morning and still the grounds seem to torment each time you decide to make a pot of coffee.
  • 2. After recognizing the trigger (consider them one after the other). Identify its effect. Consider those things that occur as a result of the challenging conditions. Do you find it difficult to sleep? Do you have to avoid taking coffee for several weeks to bring about coffee withdrawal? Do you find it difficult to be productive or efficient at your work? What is the result of the challenging conditions?
  • 3. What is the level of importance of this issue to fix? After considering the issue and its effect, you need to make up your mind on letting it go. I get irritated by the coffee grounds, but staying without coffee for a long time is possible for me.
  • 4. Once you recognize that there is a major effect (this is the hard part), recognize your role in developing, aggravating, and continuing the condition. That’s the truth. What contributing elements exist in your procedure? You could indicate that you have nothing to do with the parents that are mistreating their kids out there, but these conditions are an opportunity for us to make an impact or dissociate ourselves. Recognize your current actions that can trigger other people’s attitudes or situations.
  • 5. Highlight those steps you have previously taken that led nowhere. If you have worries about your kids, are you reacting or overthinking an event that occurred in times past? Do you usually refrain from informing your partner to always remember to dispose of the coffee grounds in the filter basket just to enjoy the feeling that comes with doing a thing wrong? You need to face the fact here. There is always a place everybody adds to the issue they don’t like even if it’s just remaining without taking any step.
  • 6. You can also implement your method. Do you usually like harmony which makes you avoid conflict or strife? Do you usually have wonderful ideas and end up not doing them? Are you an individual who loves things done, which makes you rush without a visible plan? Again, it is not ideal to beat yourself up, but focus on an ideal strategy and consider how it relates to the issue you are facing.
  • 7. Own your thing. Don’t keep pondering over it. Avoid obsessing. Don’t ask for forgiveness, just own it objectively, your contribution whenever you get stuck. Make a decision that you are ready to go beyond playing the blame game into a better approach.
  • 8. Recognize at least one thing that could have been done differently. Interact with that mother-in-law and show you care. Make those plans of action your boss has been inquiring available. Communicate with your siblings and inform them about everything you love about them rather than spelling out their flaws. Consider those things you can modify about the things you are facing.
  • 9. Continue to attempt something new. Be objective when working on yourself and in good faith. Avoid the blame game and make up your mind to create a solution and not just an accuser who thinks the problem is not from within. Taking more action will enable you to become more self-reflective and active. It will also enable you to discover that you are not a victim as you may have believed before.

 


 

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